The Art of Receiving (and Giving) Feedback

By Abby Johnston

If you are a writer, feedback can be intimidating, especially when you’re not used to receiving it regularly. Your first reaction can often be to shut down or turn inward. You might notice negative thoughts and self-doubt creeping in.

But remember, feedback on your efforts isn’t personal. It isn’t an attack. It isn’t an indictment of you or your work. The best feedback is done with the aim of arriving at the best possible outcome for everyone. The feedback you’re receiving means someone took time to deeply engage with your work and think about how it could be improved. Feedback is a gift. But it can be hard to remember that in the moment you’re receiving it.

The next time you start to feel overwhelmed by feedback, take a minute to breathe. Then use these cards to reframe some of the common thoughts that you might have when receiving feedback.

If you are an editor, giving feedback in a way that spurs productivity and learning and does not demoralize the recipient can be tricky. Find five tips (on the last card) below to help you deliver feedback effectively and in a way that meets these important goals.

Common thought:

“My work is bad.”

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Reframe: “There is always room for improvement.”

It’s exceedingly rare to get things 100% correct on the first try. Having a fresh pair of eyes on something gives an opportunity for different perspectives or points that you haven’t considered. Feedback can open new directions for the work that could ultimately make it stronger.

Tip: Ask other colleagues to share times they’ve received tough feedback and how it affected their work. Good or bad, there might be something to learn.

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Common thought:

“There is a lot of feedback — that must mean there is a lot wrong.”

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Reframe: “They must care a lot about the work, just like I do.”

It can be overwhelming to see or hear a lot of feedback, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that there is a lot wrong with the work. This often shows that someone has deeply engaged with your work and cares about articulating their thoughts on it.

Tip: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask your reviewer for help by breaking down the steps to implement their feedback.

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Common thought:

“This person thinks I am incompetent.”

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Reframe: “This person trusts that I can improve this.”

Feedback isn’t given for the sake of giving it — it’s done with an eye toward the future. Whether it’s the future of a particular project or your career trajectory, feedback shows that someone trusts that you will take their advice and create something better out of it.  

Tip: Good feedback tells you what you did well in addition to where you can improve. If you can’t immediately understand what your reviewer sees as the strengths of your work, ask! Frame it as needing to understand what you should keep doing, as well as what you should adjust.

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Common thought:

“All of these thoughts are diluting my original idea.”

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Reframe: “Having a fresh pair of eyes will sharpen my idea and make it stronger.”

It’s easy to get attached to an idea and feel protective of it. Feedback is rarely meant to change the core idea, which is yours. Instead, look at it as leaning on others’ strengths to identify opportunities in your work. Your idea sparked this feedback! 

Tip: Write down the elements that you feel are the most important to end up in the final product and keep those in mind as you revise.

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Common thought:

“I just need to take the feedback and move on.”

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Reframe: “Make the feedback a conversation.”

Some pieces of feedback are directives. Many are not. Have a conversation with the person who is offering feedback and understand which items are suggestions and which are must-dos. Ask questions about why they’re suggesting something and push back if you feel strongly about an element of your idea.

Tip: It’s totally OK to push back but do it within reason. Articulate why you feel the need to advocate for a particular point and enter the conversation without assuming it will be a confrontation.

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For editors:

5 tips for giving firm but caring feedback

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5 tips for giving firm but caring feedback

  1. Tailor your feedback to the person. You know what style they respond to — use that to help them thrive.
  2. Do it face-to-face if possible (yes, Zoom counts). Being able to read their cues during potentially hard conversations is important. 
  3. Think about the volume of feedback and that it could feel overwhelming. Acknowledge early on if there is a lot and help outline a game plan for acting on it.
  4. Give them the chance to ask questions or push back. Making it a conversation will reinforce continued ownership and buy-in.
  5. Remind them that you’re going to get there together — reinforce that you’re a team and that you’re just as invested in this as they are.
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